Who should be in the bridal shower? It may not seem important at first, but when you’re already planning the party, who you will send the invitations to will be a pretty big deal. A bridal shower needs a solid guest list to be fun for everyone. Why would you invite, for example, a friend who the bride is annoyed at? At the same time, should you not invite someone many of the people on the guest list don’t like but is important to the bride?
A bachelorette party should be comprised of the bridal party, close family members, and close friends. But while those are the cardinal rules, they don’t always apply to all situations. Sometimes, you might find yourself in a predicament about inviting a person or not. What rules apply to what situations? How are you going to decide on who should be in the party without texting or calling the bride every time you find yourself in a bind?
Think of the Location and Theme
Are you planning a party for the whole weekend? What kind of party are you going to have? Will you have male dancers there? The theme of the party should already give you an idea of who and who not to invite. Of course, you shouldn’t invite the bride’s mother, aunts, and grandmothers to a party that involves male strippers. If the party will be for the whole weekend, ask those who have kids first if they can leave the kids to their partners.
If you agreed to hire a hens party boat, it might be hard for the bride’s senior relatives to attend the party. Those who are afraid of the open water shouldn’t be invited, too, because they will not enjoy it. So, although you may want to invite everyone the bride wants, it is not always possible because of the theme and location of the party.
Don’t Invite Anyone Not Invited to the Actual Wedding
This might seem like common sense, but plenty of maid-of-honours and even brides have done glaring mistakes on this rule. You cannot invite anyone who is not invited to the wedding. It is inappropriate not only because it is awkward for the invitee but also because it will seem like the bride is pandering for gifts. The only exception to this rule is the bride’s office mates want to attend to send her off.
Have Multiple Bridal Showers
It’s okay to have several bridal showers—one with your closest friends, one with your relatives, one with your workmates, and so on. Don’t feel bad if you cannot invite everyone to the same party. They will also not enjoy it if they don’t know anyone at the party. Besides, you can give them more attention when you hold different parties for specific groups of people. Even you will enjoy your party better if you give your guests equal attention.
Keep the Party Intimate
A bridal shower is a gathering of your dearest and closest friends. Don’t feel obliged to invite everyone you know—even your best friend’s sister who you haven’t talked with for a long time. Friends should understand that it is the bride’s prerogative who to invite and not. If you organise the bachelorette party in secret, then put yourself in the bride’s shoes. Who do you want to be there? Pick her brain, too, by dropping subtle hints so that you know how to filter out her closest friends.
Work with the Groom
Aside from the maid-of-honour, the person who knows the bride better than anyone else is the groom. He’s the one that the bride confides in about friends and families. While he doesn’t necessarily need to have a say on who gets invited or not, you can ask for his opinions about certain people. And since he wants the bride to have the best time, he’ll surely be honest about who she wants to see at her party.
It is not easy to organise a party where some people feel bad about not being invited. As much as you want to keep the party intimate, it always seems impossible because people are too interconnected. But at the end of the day, what matters is what the bride wants. That’s what should happen. So, if she’s okay not inviting a few relatives and friends, then those who are organising her bachelorette party shouldn’t feel the need, too. It’s all about putting the bride’s wants and needs front and centre of the party.